p-r-i-d-e!

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okay, so, usually i dislike pride a lot. i’ve never had a genuinely good time before, it’s usually painfully hot (or, during the philly dyke march, 60 degrees and pouring rain), and i am socially anxious and see all manner of annoying people.

but in places like pgh, being openly queer is far more important than it is in new york or even philly. so i went to pride and i actually had an amazing time. i am far too tired to write anything coherant about it, so here is a list of random highlights:

*freakin’ out the squares downtown, maaann

*someone in my party coming up with the term “lesbiyinz”

*mis-reading someone’s “lesbians for obama” shirt as “lesbians for drama.” i nearly fell over because that’s so goddamn honest and i am not used to such unleashed honesty in shirt form. (anyone who has even a passing acquaintance with lesbians knows that there ain’t no drama like lesbo drama cuz lesbo drama don’t stop!)

*milkshakes!

*productive processing at the lesbian bar

*buying a whole pile of really cute dresses at a yard sale that actually fit (which NEVER happens) and having a fashion show

*dancing with ladies, turning acquaintances into friends

*having this boring generic lesbian hit on me while i was leaning against a wall on the dancefloor by seductively running her glow stick throughout the length of my body, starting at my collar bone, going between my breasts and ending about an inch below my belly button. needless to say, i was not turned on, as this girl a) was not my type at all b) earlier had asked me if i would hate her if she peed in the bathroom sink! c) used a fucking glow stick as a means of seduction! her best friend, a long-haired butch, started yelling at me. “man, that’s my best friend! why aren’t you going for it? she’s so hot!” i was like, “uh, she’s not really my type. i kinda like, um, butch-er girls.” LHB/BFF was all, “like me?” and i was like, “no.” and then she became indignant, yelling, “come on, man! i’m just trying to hook you up! it’s pride weekend! i’m being so nice and you’re being so mean, etc.” eventually they gave up on me, much to my delight.

*meeting a girl who lives in the house that i came extremely close to moving into! i always always wonder what my life would be like if i’d lived there, and now i have a potential new friend who lives there!

*afterhours events in lawrenceville=hee hee hee hee hee. i can’t really elaborate further as anyone can read this blog, but i will say it was just the ridiculous adventure that i wanted to have this weekend.

*dreaming that the march started at 2 and waking up at 12:30 and realizing that, in reality, it started at noon. and i missed it!

*running into branden and aaryn just as they were leaving & branden’s mom was getting a pic taken with some leatherdaddies

*seeing a generic dyke wearing a shirt with a pride flag that said, “these colors don’t run!”

*sitting on the curb eating frenchfries and looking for friends, i was seated next to an older gay dude. a man with a handlebar mustache came up to him and said, in a very dignified voice, “what are you, some kind of guttersnipe? why are you on the curb!?” i will try and use the word “guttersnipe” as much as is humanly possible from now on.

*defying the one-at-a-time rules for the bouncy slide and jumping off holding hands with ali’s girlfriend colleen. scraping the fuck out of my elbow & getting yelled at by the attendant but still glad i did it.

*seeing this super-awesome queer youth theatre group, featuring lesbian twins whose mom was wearing TWO buttons that say “i love my lesbian daughter”!!!!!!! so cute!

*meeting a man wearing this beautifully drawn home-made shirt that said “hugs 4 free” or something like that. hugging him and having him give me a pamphlet (pulled from a fanny pack, of course) that he’d made listing “hug facts” like “the human body needs four hugs a day for survival!”

riding my bike home through the strip district i realized that i have become my best self within the past year. i’m not really sure how or why that’s happened, but i am glad that it did.

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