these past few days have been all about delicious smoothies (blueberry-hazelnut! kale-banana! both of which sound gross but are actually DELICIOUS), bike frustrations, good friends, good zines, not writing too much which sucks, etc. i have pretty much given up on my normal-person crush mentioned a few posts back because i discovered that she has a petty dealbreaker, and people with petty dealbreakers are afraid to love. did you hear me? let me repeat myself, in case you didn’t. PEOPLE WITH PETTY DEALBREAKERS ARE AFRAID TO LOVE! and i don’t want to fall in love right now, not at all, but i cannot get into even the casual-est romp in the hay with somebody if there is not at least some aspect of love involved. it does not have to be romantic. it does have to be there. otherwise it will just be unsatisfying and empty and i’d rather be at home dancing in the kitchen or writing my novel or watching “the simpsons” or something, you know? fortunately, i have a new crush on someone who’s a certified weirdo, very intense, and who i click with really well. we’ll see.
but, on some levels, that doesn’t even matter. lately the universe has been giving me all kinds of amazing writing to read about being single. cuz singlehood isn’t this terrible disease, cuz friendships aren’t just a way to kill the time until the next hottie comes yr way. cuz i don’t need anyone to complete me. perhaps the best of this writing was in the zine “hirsteria”, which i recommend that all of you buy right now. (justinn! if you see this and are freaked out and upset, please let me know and i’ll take it down! it was just something i really needed to hear and i wanted to share it with people, in case it’s what they need to hear too.)
here it is:
i read it aloud to pino while we were driving home from tram’s and it was a good moment. my voice, saying what i needed to hear, and maybe her too. driving down the hill. it felt nice.