portrait of an afternoon.


yesterday i came home from a genuinely terrible day; a day where i felt like everything important to me was thrown in the shitter. amongst other things, my ex-love informed me she doesn’t want to talk to me ever again, & i signed the lease on my dream house only to find out, ten minutes post-signing, that my new landlords are x-tian missionaries! and they are, at this very moment, heading to a rez in montana to spread the gospel!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a very hard time containing emotions, especially horrified ones, and they exchanged a tense look. hee hee.

anyway, i came home feeling utterly defeated and relaxed in my gorgeously green backyard, on my soothing lil’ (actually huge) hammock. the sky was the most intoxicating shade of blue & the weather was cool enough to allow me to pretend that it’s fall. i enjoyed last fall while it was here, but i spent all winter & spring waiting for summer because  i predicted that things would be different & better. now that summer’s here, and it sucks, all i can do is wait for fall. it’s stupid.

anyway, i was laying in my hammock & listening to my neighbors fight with each other. above me, there was a family that is half-charmingly loud, half-disturbingly loud. they were being mostly charming yesterday. the matriarch of the family kept repeating this story that culminated in, “and he said, ‘suck my dick!’, and i said, ‘go home to mommy, little boy!'”

the family to my feet is always having the most disturbing, upsetting fights. the matriarch is this older, worn-out lady who i nickname “old yeller” because she is completely incapable of sustaining a normal speaking voice. all she does is yell, all day, about the most mundane things. she said something mildly amusing yesterday, but i’ve already forgotten it. oh, my pollution-induced bad memory is reaching new heights! or shall i say depths.

in the moments where the families paused in their screaming at each other, i could hear the slight noise that the birds’ wings made when they flew overhead. it was nice, to be surrounded by all this noise & all this city & still hear something like that, something that you only hear deep in the woods, usually.


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