little moments i want to write down before they are lost

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*i was at the dying giant eagle (r.i.p.) in my soon-to-be-former neighborhood, and this intense man came up to me–skinny, crudely tattooed, wild-eyed. he may or may not have been boxcar billy from a few entries back. anyway, we had the following conversation in the frozen foods aisle.
dude: have you ever had the stouffer’s chipped beef? it’s AMAZING?
me: nah.
dude: you put that in your microwave, and then you make some toast! [waves loaf of white bread he is holding] oh, it’s SO GOOD. you oughta try it!
me: i don’t really eat meat.
dude: well, hon, i’m sorry, but i got THE MUNCHIES real bad, know what i mean?
me: [smiles, walks towards cheese]

*the other day at book ’em, the subject of barbie dolls came up somehow. my very favorite ex-con, who’s a fairly rough dude, looked away sadly and said, so that it was barely audible, “i wish they’d stop making them things.” it was, oddly, really touching.

*i was having this intense dream that this furry i used to work with had gotten a map tattooed on his penis & i was watching this pretentious art-skool movie about it. i was awoken by my landlady coming in to show the place (i knew she was coming; i just overslept) to this normal person. in case you didn’t know, my landlady is fucking amazing and one of the funniest people i’ve ever known. and this following convo ensued.

normal person: is this neighborhood….safe?
landlady: oh, yeah! you don’t have any problems, right, ocean? [i nodded yes sleepily]. in fact, this is a ‘weed-and-seed’ community, which means that if you commit any crimes here, you do federal time! so that really cleaned this place up….
me: what?!?! that’s what that means? i thought that meant that people in this community really like to garden!!!
landlady: oh, no, this used to be a really tough neighborhood, but they cleaned this place up. there used to be a lot of prostitutes here, but a lot of them got arrested. of course, they didn’t arrest the fucking johns. they never do, because if they did, there would be no Congress!

*in my endless quest to find not-annoying-but-not-distracting music to listen to while i write, i have turned to AM radio. yesterday i stumbled upon this croatian radio show, featuring a dorky-yet-sweet old man host, wishing people with old-fashioned names like herbert and doris happy birthdays, and cajoling listeners to “give [him] a jingle” at his home phone number! there was something sweet and trusting about that, about giving out your home phone number and address on the radio because you know that there’s probably only ten or fifteen people listening and you can trust that they’re all good people.

*speaking of writing, i cracked page 100 on my book yesterday!!!!!!!! (the book i’m writing, not one i’m reading). wow!

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