seems we lose the game before we even start to play

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friday i spent all day getting outraged at injustice. learning about torture that goes on in my very own state, paid for by my tax dollars (or that would be paid for with my tax dollars if i made enough $$ to be taxed–you know what i mean). reading a book put out by these amazing people while working a booksale for my prison book program. we made seventy bucks and we were jubilant. seventy bucks for the work we do changing peoples’ lives, for the work we do reminding the dehumanized that they are human, that there is some kind of hope. that same day, as i’m sure most of you know, wall street got $700 billion dollars for the fucked-up shit they do. this imbalance of power left me shaking with rage & speechless & choking. i am angry and scared and scared of my anger.
luckily, someone who gets it called unexpectedly as i was sitting in my house raging. we both spoke angrily & i think we both cried but tried not to show it. we’re tough girls, we don’t like crying, even when black prisoners are forced to sleep in a kkk-member-guard’s piss; even when black prisoners stay in prison fourteen fucking years after the dna tests prove they were innocent. i felt better and worse all at once after we hung up the phone. and went on to have a sunny happy weekend, which i guess is good. lots of bikes & pigeons & laughs & friends. still, though. still.

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