i’m at work and currently protesting the fact that my boss’ daughter is a pain in my ass by wasting company time. hah! that’ll show her! i made hummus in my blender yesterday and it was a total disaster, maybe because my blender is on its way out. it’s about as old as i am. but what i could scrape from it was delish!
today i was sitting in a park at lunch, eating curry-lentil soup i made last night, having a very zen moment watching all the leaves fall off the trees. a bunch of teen boys started yelling about “the motherfucker in the hoodie”, who i can assume is me, as i didn’t see any other motherfuckers in hoodies that weren’t in their friend group. as they got closer to me, the tallest one exclaimed, “aw! he ain’t nothin’ but a FAGGOT!”, also, presumably about me.
being called the wrong slur is a weird experience. there’s an element of inside-joke-iness to it. like, “ha, you’re stupid and i’m smart because i know i’m not a faggot and you don’t!” i am a lover not a fighter so i didn’t do anything. i continued to read the paper (which i’d already finished & tossed aside, but i picked it up for some reason), which today included an article about a dude in butler county who is suing the factory he used to work for cuz they harrassed him all the time for being effeminate and gay; and how it was struck down because that’s not against the law.
they wandered away & i stopped caring. a little while later, a gaggle of middle schoolers wandered by. “hey baby! you’re ugly!” one of them screamed at me. this irked me more, because while i’m only a faggot in my wildest dreams, i am “ugly” by mainstream standards & i am reminded of this transgression daily. although, all in all, i don’t really care about either. i was an obnoxious middle schooler too once, i remember how it is. all that hostility has to be directed somewhere. why not at the ugly faggot sitting on a hill in the sunshine?