whoa! at the library. haven’t been home in nearly twenty-four hours. yesterday was a whirlwind of genuinely antagonistic postal workers, craft fairs, good friends, other people’s fun houseguests, tasty soup, riding my bike slowly up a hill on the sidewalk while listening to good tunez, dancing to some more good tunez with sweaty stanky crusty punx, and snoozing on my friend alyssa’s couch. woke up and it really felt like november, all gray and hopeless and cold. i read an excellent zine in a coffee shop and here i sit at the library, waiting for book ’em to open. i have a key to the building, and i could go at any time, but i don’t like opening book ’em. i don’t want to close today either, but i feel like i will get railroaded into it, so i am biding my time & plan on getting there nice and late.
yesterday a kitten shook my hand, for real. it was charming. i was petting it and it extended its paw repeatedly and finally i took it and gave it a little shake. so cute!
perhaps this is the most mediocre journal entry of my life. i don’t care; i need to write down minutiae because i no longer have a steel-trap-esque memory, it’s sad, really. although sometimes it’s kind of funny. i get to be surprised by my life. for example: i was recently flipping through a notebook of random writing i did when i was 20. i found a list that said:
“REASONS I AM GLAD I AM NOT A NORMAL PERSON
1. i never saw the face of the virgin mary in a corn chip”
what the fuck?!?!!? i have no memory of writing that, or why i thought that was relevant enough to be a number one (and in fact, the only) reason i am glad to not be a normal person.
in 2008, with 5 minutes left on the library computer, i will write a better list.
REASONS I AM GLAD I AM NOT A NORMAL PERSON [upon writing this, i realize the true title of this list is “reasons i am glad i am not a normal white middle-class-background able-bodied college-educated woman”] [by “normal” i am using the definition espoused in “cosmo” magazine and my high school classmates]
by 26-year-old ocean
1. don’t have to shave my legs
2. don’t feel bad about not having a “real” job
3. almost nothing i do is motivated by guilt
4. don’t put up with stupid misogynist male behavior for any reason
5. the focus of my life is writing books and getting books into the hands of people who need them; not finding a husband or advancing in a soulless corporate job
6. i can feel the breeze on my face & get to know my city from the vantage point of a bike instead of spending lots of money to be trapped inside a climate-controlled box all year
7. i eat whatever the fuck i want [and can afford] and do not feel bad for even an iota of a second
8. i have gained a whole lot of weight in the past year and my self-worth has not dropped at all
i can only think of 8 right now. there are drawbacks to being a weirdo, too, but i am not very motivated to list those right now.