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this past week i got two of the most intense letters i’ve ever gotten. one is intense in a good way, one is intense in a bad way. one is from my current love interest, the other is from a friend of mine in prison. i keep them side-by-side on the guestroom bed (my fave spot to write letters these days) as a testament to the wide variety of human experience. or something.
still feeling shitty. thanksgiving is serving as a harsh reminder of exactly how much things have changed in one year, and not for the better. but fuck it, right? i still have good people around me. today will be a whirlwind of prep work, baking & cleaning; tomorrow will be all about the actual cooking & entertaining & hoping that things work out okay. this is the first party/gathering/dinner i’ve ever thrown totally by myself. usually i have at least one faggot at the helm smoothing things out, but now it’s just me.
yesterday i had one of the worst bike rides of my life to my job in oakland. and then later that night, amanda and i had a near-perfect bike ride back from the hill district. the snow wasn’t flying in a painful way & we rode fast & talked. she told me i make late-night bike rides magical & i am glad to be that person.

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