the following conversation occurred, verbatim, between my family and i whilst eating pizza.
sister: dad, aren’t you, like, so glad that all your kids are under one roof again?
dad [ignoring her]: where’s the sauce?
[me and my siblings laugh hysterically]
dad: what? what’s so funny?
me: dad, jill just asked you if you were glad that we’re all together again, and all you could say is ‘where’s the sauce’?
[dad laughs. then there is a pause.]
dad: wait a minute. who’s the sauce?
brother: oh, goddamnit. I AM THE SAUCE!