yet another conversation with my boss i felt the need to document.


[scene: ocean, t. {a fellow 26-year-old. he’s a lawyer though, not a secretary like me}, and my boss discuss finding a defendant who’s gone awol. this defendant is the same age as ocean and t., which is relevant.]

boss: she’s not in the phone book.

ocean: i don’t think it’s all that weird for someone our age to not be in the phone book, cuz most people our age don’t have land lines. now i have TRIED to get a landline SO HARD, but neither house i’ve lived in has a verizon box, and verizon wants to charge me hundreds of dollars to install one! [facetiously] i think they should be thrilled that someone in the 18-35 age group actually WANTS a land line, and just give me the damn thing!

boss: [semi-facetiously] there you go, complaining about everything again [note: i rarely complain about things in my boss’ presence]

me: well, don’t you think it’s stupid that a dying industry is rejecting customers?

boss: [thinks about it] you’d better watch out, or else they’ll renounce your citizenship! you’ll have to go up north, to canada.
also, i am really tired of my current haircut, but i can’t think of a better one. i can think of about ten that would look good if i didn’t have glasses but would look shitty with my big old honking frames. incidentally, i am really fucking tired of glasses, but i think that getting contacts is one of those things i will always talk about and never actually do.


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