busted tires, hilarious teens!


so two days ago i was riding my bike down butler st., headed for my stupid-ass job, when i rode over an industrial-strength staple that handily punctured my tire. my bike shuddered so much upon impact i almost got thrown off, and i staggered to the side of the road, my “fuck fuck FUCK” complaints nearly as loud as the HIIIIIIISSSSSSSS coming from my poor lil’ tube.

but every cloud has a silver lining, because i hiked up the hill to the 54c and encountered my buddy five at the bus stop. the bus took forever to come, but that’s okay, because the following hilarious thing happened.

a school bus full of junior high kids was stopped at a red light. as is customary, the whole bus started heckling everyone on the street. a few teen girls (probably between the ages of 12-14) focused on us. one of them yelled, “hey, is that your brother?” pointing at five. i said no. her friend said, “oh, is he gonna hit it then?” me & fivey burst into hysterical giggles at the idea of us doing it, and then when we recovered, i yelled, “nope, we’re both gay!” the two girls looked at each other in surprise. they yelled something i couldn’t hear. then the light turned green and i waved my hand exaggeratedly, yelling, “it was so nice talking to you! thanks a lot!!” and they waved back in kind of a confused way. oh MAN! so funny. i love fucking with teenagers’ heads.

in other news, last night i finally visited oh yeah! with ray. i’ve been hearing so much about oh yeah! and all of it is true. we shared a belgian waffle with cookie dough and soy ice cream and it was AMAZING and i can’t stop thinking about it. now i understand the slavish devotion.

in other news, tomorrow i am 27! wow.


2 responses »

  1. reading this blog reminds me of sitting in a bookstore with no comfortable chairs, reading a book you cannot put down for hours. i am supposedly at work in my very odd brooklyn hotel, but i cannot stop binging on your writing. i know i should stop so i can enjoy it later on, but i just cannot bring myself to close out the window. ocean, write books! write millions of books! i’ve read that you have already written one, and mazel tov! i hope to read it soon. i could read your writing forever.

  2. hi osh, i lol’ed pretty hard at your teenager-bus interaction. i wuv francey pants but i cant wait to come home and hopefully see you soon! or this year you could make the trek up to geneseo…i proms that its more than a podunk college town and we will do more interesting things than when tom comes (which is generally eat taco bell, watch sports and drink beer)

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