Monthly Archives: October 2009

ravens, needles, autumn & of course wingnuts.

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this weekend was so weird and quiet and strange. spent it boyfriendless for the first time in a long time (his mom was visiting) & it was nice to have some time all to myself to explore and exist and be.

saturday was the garlickiest garlic bread ever, friends new and old, laughing until i squeaked, making a wallet (or beginning one, anyway), staying up late and falling asleep happy & content by myself in my tiny blue-green room.

on sunday i went to book ’em before normal hours so i could get some work done for a few hours. on the ride home i decided to cut through the allegheny cemetery (blatantly ignoring the “NO BIKES” sign. yup, call the badass office and tell them to issue me a license…) (I’M BEING SARCASTIC) and it was fucking so incredibly gorgeous i thought i was gonna fall right off my bike. that place in autumn is FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! the most beautiful place in pittsburgh!

i disturbed a flock of ravens, by accident, with my pedaling & they all took off & i was surrounded by hundreds of birds in flight. it was fucking magic.

and then i made s’mores on my stovetop and then went to the laundromat. i sat on the stoop of a pizza place while my clothes were in the drier, sewing my wallet and enjoying the sun on my face. the pizza place was closed (or so i thought), making it a prime place to sit in the sun like a wayward senior citizen (or so i thought!)

but, a guy needed to get in, so i jumped up, kinda startled. when i put my left foot down, i was like “ow” and went to investigate. i saw a huge sewing needle sticking out of my shoe, so i pulled it out. i put my left foot down again and it still hurt. upon closer inspection, i’d stepped on TWO needles at once, one of which had snapped and was impaled in my shoe & was impossible to pull out with my bare hands.

so, i called pino 911 and she came with a bag full of pliers and saved the day. god, i love that woman. we took a walk and talked about life. we were hugging goodbye a few hours later & talking about making dinner. a guy wearing a stars-and-stripes jogging suit was staring at us & pino jokingly said, “what, ya wanna come to dinner too?” he yelled, “i dunno, what’s good?” “everything i make is good!” “oh yeah, like what?” “like liver and onions!” “liver and onions, huh? how do ya make that?” and he wouldn’t leave until pino explained, in detail, how to make liver & onions. i lurked in the background cuz i didn’t want to leave her alone with this insane man. finally he was satisfied and walked down the street. as he passed me he made eye contact, looking at ME like i was the crazy one, and sneered, “you can go back to your girlfriend now,” !!! what a weirdo. i texted pino about it once i got home and she replied with something like, “that’s the last time i talk to a stranger wearing gym clothes.” ha!

p.s. OMG, like, seventeen magazine is hatin’ on FTMs. you should check it out. totally fucked up & minorly surprising, as both teen people and cosmogirl! had positive articles on trannies in the past few years. oh well. write them, or not, it probably won’t make a real difference but i guess it’s good to be aware of, or something…

why, look at this totally cute picture…

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of me, my sister & my mom this weekend. at the warhol, duh. i’m holding a sign that says “i suck” but you can’t see it. my mom’s glasses are tilted because i accidentally knocked them off in our mad dash to fit in the photobooth before the flash went off. threecapewells

this weekend was really fun & good. sometimes i forget that my mom is actually a very fun, interesting lady. it was sunny and we did all sorts of fun things and i felt loved and appreciated, which is rare when it comes to my family.

more later, with pictures, if i feel like it.

human nature is so interesting.

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example: the following things that people googled in order to come across this page. sorry if this is dull to any of yinz, i just think it’s so fascinating and strange!

1. girls breasts without clothes
2. auto mechanic memorial tattoo (i got 3 separate hits for this!!! is this really so popular???!?)
3. indecent birthday image
4. breast tattoo gallery
5. what i did at work today
6. “i am not femme”
7. games kill the boss derailleur (!??!!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!) (for those of you who don’t know, a derailleur is a part on a bike. it changes the gears)
8. “ironically, i still love”
9. i am a young male and my boss is such an asshole i can’t take it anymore
10. “begging you for change hair on”

to those of you who are bored: you should write me a hundred-word story about why anyone would google any one of these bizarre phrases. leave it in the comments. be outrageous. i love you.

o, midwest!

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so last month ray & i took a strange midwestern roadtrip & i am finally putting some pics on the interweb.

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we found this hilarious bisexual porn at an I-70 porn shop (called, hilariously, “the lion’s den”) and i wanted to take pictures of us reading it everywhere, but it quickly got lost in the car & i forgot. so this is the only pic of me reading it, in a state park in ohio where we camped out.

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this is ray in columbus, oh. sorry i didn’t rotate it.

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this is also in columbus, oh, maybe a few minutes after taking the previous picture. so much kissing!

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this is me in indianapolis, in, in relentless search of vegetarian food. it’s hard to find in indiana (a state that neither of us liked)

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yo, did you know that the (AMAZING) community center in urbana, which hosts its local prison book program, which of course we visited because we’re giant dorks, has a freaking COSTUME ROOM?!!? omg! it is so much more fun packing books whilst wearing a bridal veil & sequinned wrap, and when your boyfriend looks like a big gay cowboy wearing sparkly clip-on earings. hurrah!

not pictured:
*wingnuts in indianapolis
*totally cute boy we became friends with at an ice cream shop in columbus
*amazing thrift scores at ohio thrift (the boardgame girl talk, a perfect skirt, a baseball hat for elmer’s glue, rubber stamps of all the bones in a skeleton, more…)
*delicious vegetarian food
*endless sweet people
*bumping into my old housemate caroline nappo, who i haven’t seen in 7 years
etc, etc, etc. i really want to travel more now. my itchy traveling foot needs some calomine.

IN UNRELATED NEWS:
*i’m at the lawrenceville library & it’s official, it’s closing next summer. : ( : ( : ( the guy at the desk told me so. he said, “but maybe we can do something about it. there ain’t no use crying over spilled milk–once it’s actually spilled, then we’ll cry” and it was oddly touching.
and,
*my mom is in a commercial! she’s the blonde woman wearing glasses, sniffing some tomatoes & looking mildly crazed. ha ha ha. i just talked about it with mumzy last night & apparently the commercial was directed by morgan spurlock of “super size me” fame. also, the woman at the very end of the commercial, looking skeptical, is the new principal of my old high school. who knew? certainly not me.