Monthly Archives: December 2009

2009 in review!


What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
*earned money off of something i’d written (i.e. one of my grants got funded. i of course didn’t get any of that $$, it all went to book ’em, but damn it felt good)
*celebrated passover
*went to a presidential inauguration
*wrote a split zine with a prisoner
*got a tattoo whilst sitting in my kitchen
*and a few personal things that aren’t for this forum.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t make new year’s resolutions! but i would like to get my passport and finally leave the country next year!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
joann at work had a baby, and it was a pretty damn cute one, even to a seasoned baby-hater like me.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no one close, as of this moment. jonathan harmon died in january & we used to be palz. also, three clients at work died.

5. What countries did you visit?
none, as per usual.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
a full time job with benefits that isn’t evil. a passport.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
both times i went to DC were really fun & memorable. the january trip was particularly spectacular. my birthday was really good and so was thanksgiving. the champaign-urbana roadtrip was wonderful, possibly the best week all year. it’s all kind of a blur. i remember moments but not specific dayz.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting my damn grants funded & helping to save book ’em from a financial crisis was pretty sweet. also, i was 1/2 of a healthy relationship for the first time ever really. it changed a lot of things in my life & heart & mind.

9. What was your biggest failure?
i didn’t write enough. and i acted very stupidly when faced with a challenging situation this spring, something i still beat myself up over.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
i got the worst UTI of my life in may, which brought me to new heights of pain that i’d previously not experienced. other than that, i was pretty lucky.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
cute clothes at the thrift store & bus/plane tickets to various places.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
most pittsburgh people, my siblings, my old-school friends and my sweetheart.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
mostly that fucking bitch at the teddy bear shop. my boss. on rare occasions, my sweetheart. certain stressful, crazy book ’em peeps.

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, billz, student loans, traveling, and going out to dinner!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
midwestern roadtrips. my lover moving here. my tattoo. the potential of a new job (which hasn’t materialized)

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
that “homeys dead & gone” song, “battlefield” by jordin sparks, “you” by atmosphere, “mind sex” & “let’s get healthy” by dead prez, “best i ever had” by drake, “werewolf” by cocorosie, & others i’m sure.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier.
b) thinner or fatter? fatter. but who cares.
c) richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
listening to a certain stupid asshole blasting a mix cd on repeat in an attempt to attract customers to their joke of a store while i was trying to work.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
already spent it. in new york. i made an eggplant lasagna & watched many episodes of “jersey shore” with various fam members. it was pretty good.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

22. How many one-night stands?

23. What was your favorite TV program?
ru paul’s drag race.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
nah, but there are some people whose bullshit i’m no longer willing to deal with.

25. What was the best book you read?
“the prisoner’s wife” by asha bandele. runners up include: “assata: an autobiography” by assata shakur, “a language older than words” by derrick jensen, “the book thief” -marcus zuzak, & so many more.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
as per ush, i am slow on the uptake. probably the best out of all those recently “discovered” bands is dead prez & atmosphere.

27. What did you want and get?
a new tattoo & more traveling.

28. What did you want and not get?
a fulltime job with benefits that isn’t evil. a finished book.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 27 & went out for thai food with sweet pittsburghers. my boyfriend made me a cake with homemade orange icing. peeps hung out at my house and giggled, it felt like a slumber party.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
being able to smack my boss’ daughter upside the head. (in case you haven’t noticed, I REALLY NEED A NEW JOB)

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
all over the place.

33. What kept you sane?
my friends, my lover, reading, good things in the mail box.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
prison-related stuff, as per usual.

36. Who did you miss?
the ocean & new york in the summer time.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
nate. also, i technically met matt & leah last year but i got to know them this year, & i’m glad i did.

manhattan is a cage


& i was just there. on long island now, on my sister’s computer. we are laughing at our mom’s crazed facebook status updates (i’m not on facebook, but i’m not above going on other peoples’ accounts once a month or so to giggle at mutual friends) (or, ya know, relatives).
anyway, here are some pictures.

this was in soho somewhere. cute. about three other peeps were taking pictures of it.

i haven’t smoked in over five years, but look at how expensive cigarettes in NYC are now!!! holy shit! that’s for a pack, not a carton (meaning a carton is over a hundred fucking dollars now)(in manhattan, i mean)

emily’s mom’s solution to her mouse problem! i laughed so much about this.

lauren classily drinking pelligrino at her job at babeland. she looks kind of like a waiter!

this aquarium was in a window in chinatown & there were so many fish & it was so intense, overwhelming and beautiful.

who knew rice had such a long & exciting history?

i went to penn station and met up with my dad. he isn’t looking too good. his face was all red and messed up from the cold (he’s a construction worker & usually works in the cold all winter) and when he sat down he kept groaning like he was in a lot of pain. he has some wounds that won’t heal. he had three beers as usual, and said, “i feel so bad, i don’t even know if i can drink!” which is what really got me worried. he did drink, but only two beers, which was most unusual.
anyway, the sunset over long island was so phenomenally beautiful. this picture is nowhere near close to how gorgeous it was.

and then immediately upon arriving at my dad’s house i found this insane picture of him and his wife in a snuggie on the refrigerator! OMG. my dad went to the doctor and apparently his feet are so bad that the doctor told him he needs to take at least a month off work. yikes. stressful. i just heard him say on the phone, “i’m offa work fuh the next month, so call me! we can compare notes on oprah, or something!”

not pictured: sitting in bluestockings for three hours, red bamboo with emily & sheena where we were penalized for being a triad in this couple-centric world, a vegan spelt cupcake at babycakes served by like five identically dressed counter people, frantically last minute shopping with jill and getting hysterical at the truly stupid presents i got for my dad & brother. yeah. so that’s xmas break ’09 thus far. oh, and my co-worker nate texted me and said that my boss threw out most of the things on and in my desk! including, possibly, my zine masters! grrrr. i’m so pissed off. but revenge will be mine soon (i hope!).



last winter, amanda & i vowed not to hibernate & not to have a bad winter. we had the best winter ever. of course, i was swept up in the intoxication of a new love, which helped a lot.
what will this winter bring? i’m pretty nervous about 2010. even-numbered years tend to be bad. & 2009 was super-great, for the most part, which makes me think that i’m just gonna be punished again. there was this woman who won’t talk to me now but who taught me so much, and one thing she said to me, perched on the lid of the toilet in my old apartment in brooklyn, was: “not all happiness is punishable. you have to remember that.” & oh, i am trying. but i’m scared. because i know better.
i got some good zines in the mail over these past few days & i’m almost done with my latest zine. yay! it’s a split with a friend of mine in prison. i know what yinz are thinking — “prisoner zines suck”, “who is this weirdo?” etc, etc. but it actually came out really good, i think. and i’m excited to unleash it on the world. this dude and i used to be really tight. i’m significantly less enthused about him than i used to be. it’s okay, though, because we made a good zine & that’s enough.

news & work & death.


so. last night i was watching channel 11 news, mostly cuz it’s hilarious & shit, and while watching it i learned that a client at work had died. she was 80. she was hit by a truck while carrying some beer to her house. she was a very decrepit, frail old woman, who would hobble in on the third of every month to pay us $200 on her son’s legal bills.
her son is in prison. he got into a fight with someone over a parking space, called him “the n-word,” and then the guy came in his house to kick his ass & he shot him. just in the leg, the guy didn’t die, but police held him at a standoff as he hid in the house & huffed glue. i wasn’t working here when his case was active, but i heard he was a real dumbass. my boss discharged him due to non-cooperation & he lost his trial & now he’s in prison. i had to write him a letter telling him that his mother is dead. that’s the first time i’ve ever done that; it’s also the first time i found out that someone i know died via the evening news.
it’s just sad. the whole situation. all the shitty lives in this neighborhood. working here has given me this strange insight into my neighbors’ lives that i wouldn’t have any other way. if i didn’t work here i might think that this place was something else, something else entirely.