standing outside a broken payphone with change in my hand


or actually, i’m sitting inside an empty library with a sandwich in my bag. i thought the library would be packed with lawrencevillians eager to escape their houses & get on the interweb, but no, it’s just me and a few stragglers and some disgruntled library staff.
pittsburgh has been under a blanket of snow for almost a week and at first it was nice but lately it’s been wearing on me. i’ve gone sledding twice. first with the lawrenceville gayz and some rowdy teens. the second time was with amanda, jude and ray. we slid down on cardboard and shrieked and then when we were tired we sat in the snow, drank a soda i’d found in a snowbank, and talked about cities and homeownership and where we came from. it was nice.
the night before i sat with some ladies who intimidate me with their passion and brilliance. we’d all come to the blue moon (local gay bar, for those not in the know) to watch rupaul’s drag race and wound up staying until closing, talking passionately. ray danced shirtless on the stripper pole and we all cheered. it was a good night, even if it left me lonely and sad and so, so tired.
i can’t shake this tired & this hungry lately. i know i’m tired because leaving the house involves lots of aerobic activity, there’s no such thing as a simple stroll to work. it feels like life has always been like this, like this is all i’ve ever known.
things are changing. tomorrow is my last day of work ever at morton’s, thank goddess. i’ve been there for 2.25 years, tied with CVS as my longest-held job ever. i’m starting a new job at CYF on the north side on tuesday. holy shit! full time, benefits, commuting, etc. i’m pretty nervous but hopefully it’ll be okay. in any event, i’m currently doing nothing with my life, so fulltime employment isn’t the creativity cockblock that it once would have been.
i would have written more, but i had to spend a lot of my internet time blocking the many hairy-armpit fetishists on flickr that have favorited pictures of me where you can see my pitz. what the fuck? even creepier is the fact that i know a decent amount of women in these pics. the hairy-armpit world of north america is a small one, i suppose.


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