partially because one of them hadn’t happened yet.
1. on saturday night i had the privilege of seeing a man dressed as sarah palin pull an american flag out of his ass. after an amazing drag performance, he put a folded up tarp on the floor, bent over a little (facing the audience sideways) and pulled a rolled-up american flag (stuffed in a condom) from his butt. the audience went wild, and honestly i don’t think i’ll ever be the same (in a good way).
2. so, today i am at my employment orientation, and i had to go into the county courthouse because the payroll office is located there. i had to get my backpack x-rayed to enter the courthouse. i had totally forgotten that i had a vibrator in my backpack (whatever, it comes in handy, especially when you & yr lover don’t live in the same house!). two tough lady security guards were watching the x-ray machine.
one of them, with a big smile on her face, asked a co-worker, “now, what do you think THIS item is?”
the other security guard said, jokingly, “it’s a shank!”
the first security guard said, “that ain’t no shank!” and they both burst into giggles. and i KNOW they were talking about my vibe.
even more hilariously, this is like the third or fourth time this has happened to me! i just can’t stop bringing vibrators to courthouses and airports. oh fucking well.