what are you, changing? who do you think you’re changing? you can’t change things, we’re all stuck in our ways.

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hello! i changed the appearance of this blog because i decided the font was too small & it looked uninviting. this new theme is a little bit weird too. but, oh, who cares.
i am so excited about quitting my job in august/september! really i’m hoping they’ll just fire me, because i’m on probation until august 16. but until then i am saving frantically and trying to make it through. suuuuper excited about the potential of riding to DC with my sweetheart! it’ll be really hard, but hopefully worth it. i’ve never really liked DC that much as a city, but i think it’ll be cool to hang out there for a little while (we have a free place to stay for as long as we want) and just be somewhere that isn’t pittsburgh. i haven’t left pittsburgh for longer than five days since i moved here three years ago! and that’s just nutty.
this has been a rough week, but now that it’s the weekend i feel eons better. on thursday my co-workers were being lighthearted about that guy in utah who’s about to be executed by firing squad, and someone said something like, “he’s been living large off OUR [yeah, because we really live in fucking utah!] tax dollars for 25 years! that’s so unfair!” etc.
i couldn’t take it anymore and yelled, “when you’re on death row, nobody is allowed to touch you, talk to you, or look at you! and you get fed like, 40 cents worth of food a day!” everyone looked at me as if i had just said, “gumdrops! my shoe is eating my foot!! lollygag!” or some other such nonsense.
my boss broke the awkward silence by saying, “speaking of money, let’s count the snack money for the day,” and everyone laughed hysterically as i struggled not to cry. god i just wanted to storm out right then & there. what kept me sitting in my seat, typing as though nothing was wrong, was: a) health insurance b) the fact that i’m taking a paid vacation next week! c) the fact that i wanna quit my job and i need money money money. i have never had a job with benefits before, and never realized how much they trap you. i could easily go find another job to pay my billz, but there’s no way i could find a job that would give me paid dayz off.
anyway, after that i came home and got into a fight with my lover about something else, and then i sat by the river with amanda and watched the sun sink over the mountains, and we had lots of good talks. we visited jude and then i went home.
yesterday everything got way better, it was a whirlwind of all-lady bike rides, good conversations, hot sex and fun friends. hoorah! tonight we are going to roller derby, which i have mixed feelings about. i think it’s really unfeminist and i wonder why so many feminists seem to love it. but i’ve never been, and i want to have more new experiences. that’s a valid reason for doing anything, right?
i hope i am not getting more boring as i age. last night i was reading the archives of a blog i used to love, from like 6 years ago, and it was so good then! and it’s so boring now, but i keep reading, out of a strange demented hope.

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