dead phones, highways, new pathways, new cities

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hello. my thanksgiving weekend began with some vietnamese food with good people, and then i went home and used the bathroom afterwards and my phone came tumbling out of my too-tight skinny jeans into the unflushed toilet. wamp wamp. i reached in and picked it out anyway, because obviously i still need my phone and also i’m not gonna flush it down the toilet and clog our plumbing. so. i let it dry out and then i put the battery back in. worked for 20 minutes and then it turned off and wouldn’t turn back on again.

the end of an era! the end of this crappy phone. BUT. later it turned on again. it was possessed, it kept typing the same numbers over and over again on the screen, without me doing anything, going into my contacts and fucking them up with the same numbers. at one point it typed, “F 850580580580580580580 Y.” and then stopped, and i, being the person that i am, was like, “OMG! is my phone trying to tell me ‘fuck you’?” i mean, it wouldn’t be unjustified. how many times have i said that to my phone, how many times have i used it to call someone and say, “sorry i missed your call, my phone didn’t ring or vibrate, it really sucks…” revenge!

i think i’m gonna go phoneless for a little bit. i have a landline, i’ll be fine, and it’s not like i really have much of a social life these days. it’s nice to detox from texting, not have a radioactive box in my hip pocket all the time.

thanksgiving was strange this year, fun but not fun, after all the festivities i read issues of “doris” aloud to the empty house, not the whole thing just the parts that said the things i couldn’t say, or didn’t think to say, and i cried a lot. i was a little drunk but mostly just weird. it made me feel better than any kind of self-care thing i’ve done in a long time.

ray & i went to cleveland for a little bit, not for any real reason, just that it’s the closest major city to pgh and we wanted to get away but didn’t have time to go anywhere further away. i used to be really good friends with a girl who lived there, and she didn’t answer my email but i still had a good time without her (although not AS good a time). we ate yummy food and watched a ridiculous drag show and met a boy that we both thought was really cute but seemed too gay to take home with us and went to the big beautiful library, read zines and graphic novels while looking out on the huge, gray, expansive great lake (superior? i forget. don’t feel like looking it up). we waited for two hours at melt bar and grilled, the all-grilled-cheese restaurant (an hour and a half wait for a table and then a half-hour wait for our food) and still felt like it was worth it. omg, that place rulez, and it’s long been a secret dream of ray’s to open an all-grilled-cheese cafe. (tragically, he recently learned that he’s allergic to wheat gluten! although he broke edge for melt because how could he not).

it was really good for me to go to another city, think about how life could be somewhere else, just be in a place with a different vibe. cleveland and pittsburgh aren’t THAT different, they’re both depressed rust belt cities “making a comeback”, both have lots of abandoned industrial buildings, cheap rent, cheap drinks, amazing libraries. but cleveland has a real subway (!) and more of a big city vibe, lots of punnily-named businesses and hundreds of thousands of people we don’t know. it was nice, even though i’m sick now, and work looms large & scary tomorrow, i feel so much better.

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