i’m home, it’s weird

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who knew? well of course it’s always strange coming home after being away for a while. everything looks so different. my apartment, where i have lived for years, looks as unfamiliar as a hostel. the refrigerator looks different, the hallway. my boyfriend shaved his beard off so he looks different, like a young scratchyface stranger and not the sweetheart i left. my neighborhood looks different. i know that it’s mostly that i am seeing things with new eyes.

jill & i had a magnificent last night of travelling. paris. vibrant color & sound & art. a city so obsessed with beauty that even the subway entrances are magnificent works of art. even the bums are glamorous. even city hall is amazing.i don’t want to write about it indepth here though. maybe i’ll make another zine? not all about travelling, of course. about lots of things. my last issue (still available, if you want it!) was such a bummer i’m almost ashamed to give it to people.

i have pictures up on my flickr if anyone is interested.

GOOD THINGS ABOUTT BEING BACK:

+being able to communicate with pretty much anyone i see

+big comfortable bed.

++++FRIENDS!! PARTNER!!! COMMUNITY!!!!

+re-united with my bike

+have more clothes to choose from than one pair of pants & one dress & 2 tshirts & one pair of stripey long johns

+feel less frumpy (everyone in europe is SO attractive and well-put-together. i have my own distinct deliberate style but i feel like in europe it just comes across that i’m clueless. which i KIND OF am but not THAT clueless)

+not having to carry all of my possessions on my back

+not having to constantly worry that i’ve lost my passport (i never even came close, but i am paranoid)

+checking my bank account and realizing that i only spent like $700 the whole time i was there! so i bought myself a soy milk maker on the internet, just now. f you, silk!

BAD THINGS ABOUT BEING BACK

-not surrounded by beautiful things everywhere i go

—–WATER INEFFICIENT TOILETS. one of my pet peeves! euro toilets were SO water efficient and i didn’t see a single auto-flush (WORST invention ever) the whole time i was there!

-my boyfriend’s face is super prickly thanks to the aforementioned beard shaving

-we now have a feral cat and three kittens living in the basement

-screamy children, barky dogs

-still have the hacking cough i picked up in poland

-america is stupid!

-i miss my sister!

-i didn’t get a layoff notice in the mail from my job, which i was expecting. i was fully anticipating only having one more week left and then being able to apply for unemployment, but the date of our layoff has been pushed back several times already. since i didn’t get a notice, i’m assuming it’s been changed in my absence and i’ll be there for a lot longer. BOO!

-i miss europe! esp. paris & lithuania

-my life ahead has a pall of, “okay, what the fuck am i gonna do now?”

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