the feeling isn’t fear, it’s just telling you to move

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i’ve been back home for nearly a week now. and oh what a week it’s been. it’s been proof, part 239, of the truth of my favorite free will astrology column: “the most dangerous life an aries can live is a safe one. if you tolerate boredom and complacency, you are inviting the universe to come kick your ass.” and, oh. so true. it’s always true.

nothing i haven’t weathered before, of course. nothing i haven’t gotten through before. maybe something worse is hiding in the corner, i don’t know. but for now, i have to accept the beating from fate. i invited it. i got bored. i got complacent. i thought it was okay to sit in my house all day. i thought it was okay to lash out at people who love me because i feel like i got a raw deal in life. i thought a lot of things were okay that aren’t,

and now my life has made it so that it is impossible to be how i was before. who i was before. i am trying to weather the storm. trying to appreciate the roads opening for me. there’s nothing else i can do. i’m not stronger than heartbreak. i can’t outrun it. i can’t force anyone to do anything for me that they don’t want to do. all i can do is keep my head up, keep struggling, keep on fucking living.

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