i want a hug and a cigarette. haven’t had a hug in 24 hours and a cigarette in nearly 5 years. both feel urgent.
i’m mostly doing okay. on day 3 of zine tour but it feels like years! i had a lot of wonderful moments yesterday. today is a little bit harder, but i’m still trying. i’m tired of trying. i’m tired of pretending to be okay. tired of thinking about what i’ve lost and how it seems so impossible to get it back. no going back.