because self-reflection & posterity is super important. feel free to steal.
1.What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
crossed an ocean, wore contact lenses, collected unemployment, joined a union.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i did leave the continent. i made a huge dent in my debt but did not pay it all off. i didn’t find a home for my book, but i did a lot of good readings & did what i could within the chaos of this year. my resolutions for next year are: keep pursuing a meaningful life. do good things. don’t pour all your love into one person, especially a person who doesn’t give much back. don’t get complacent. and publish your fucking book!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
i don’t think so.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
paul died. we weren’t ever close, per se, but it still saddened me.
5. What countries did you visit?
france, germany, poland & lithuania! so nice to finally be able to answer this question!
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
a published book. a mature, considerate lover. a life plan that feels right & is doable.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
i remember wilding out with some lithuanians at karaoke. walking the streets of paris with jill, eating falafel and feeling perfect. i remember a meaningful walk across the 16th street bridge when i was feeling so terrible. i remember that amazing fucking philly roadtrip with steph & danny. i remember 4 of the most healing hugs of my life: 2 at the anarchist bookstore, 1 at occupy pittsburgh and 1 across my desk at work. i remember walking the streets of berlin with my siblings, beers openly in hand, just cuz we could. i remember dancing wildly with arthur & amanda. i remember dancing wildly with steph & danny. i remember two beautiful talks in my hammock. i remember going roller skating the day after new years and driving away with the sun setting and lady gaga playing and feeling really happy. i remember riding the megabus thru a rainstorm in wisconsin listening to the clash and feeling like i was on a great adventure. i remember the first time i read my novel, to a crowd of about 30 people in pgh, and getting so much fuckin’ love from the audience! i remember hooking up with a finnish man in the stairwell of a depressing soviet-built apartment building. i remember seeing the forgetters play, drunk in the mid-afternoon, with jill in berlin. i also remember a lot of awful things that i don’t really want to remember, or else sexy/romantic things that i don’t want to share here.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
surviving. doing a lot of really amazing things at work, and doing 10 readings! 9 of which i consider a smashing success, and one that was just ok. meeting a lot of great people, coming out of my shell significantly & becoming a nicer person.
9. What was your biggest failure?
there are a few comforting things i wish i’d said to clients, but felt like it wasn’t my place. but now i wish i’d said them.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
i got real sick in lithuania and couldn’t take any medicine because i don’t speak lithuanian and the pharmacies are set up so you need to ask for your medicine. & as i have discussed ad nauseum on this blog, i got into a bike accident and suffered a black eye, fat lip, a concussion & nerve damage on my scalp & forehead. other than that i’ve been good.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
my waffle iron & a plane ticket to paris.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
this has been a year of betrayal & abandonment by family, both blood & chosen, but the people who have stuck around have been fucking incredible. you really did save my fucking life and i am eternally indebted to each and every single one of you who has reminded me, with your incredible love & compassion, that life is worth living.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my co-workers, my mom, my ex-partner, and myself.
14. Where did most of your money go?
student loans, traveling, and moving.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
going on zine tour, going to europe, rejoining life, new love affairs, my job once it stopped sucking, all the new friends i’ve made this year.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
“at the hop” -devendra barnhardt, “too small to fail” -forgetters, “american gangster time” -elvis costello, many songs by bruce springsteen, and a few that i don’t want to put here.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? even though it’s been a very sad year i actually think i am happier.
b) thinner or fatter? way thinner. but i didn’t want to be.
c) richer or poorer? poorer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
writing. risking. kissing. biking. dancing.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
trying to explain things to people who just don’t fucking get it. also, crying.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
already spent it. like this:
21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
i did not fall in love in a romantic-partner sense, but i did fall in love in a way that was much more important. fell in love with the world and with the work i’ve been chosen to do. it was fucking amazing.
22. How many one-night stands?
23. What was your favorite TV program?
gossip girl! yes, i know i’m a little late to the party.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
25. What was the best book you read?oh boy. i read a lot of great books. “the color purple” (again, a little late to the party), “dyke drama, your guide to getting out alive”, “falling apart in one piece”, “owly”, “storming cesar’s palace”, “roseannarchy”, “blue highways”, “myth of the welfare queen”, “the doris encyclopedia”, “jesus land” and many others!
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
oh do i ever have a musical discovery. i listened to lots of elvis costello & bruce springsteen.
27. What did you want and get?
friends at work, a zine tour, excitement.
28. What did you want and not get?
let’s not even fucking go there.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 29. i ate waffles with friends.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
see question #28.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
boy in a skirt. no glasses! skinny jeans! ribcage t-shirts.
33. What kept you sane?
MY FUCKIN’ FRIENDS.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
the fucking government cutting funds to my job. i wish every tea party motherfucker could sit with me at my desk and offer people tissues while they cry hysterically because we’re their last hope for turning their utilities back on and we simply don’t have the money. tell them thanksgiving is cancelled. tell the woman who just got her arm amputated that she’s going to have to go to a shelter. i know those tea party fuckers don’t care, and i wouldn’t enjoy their company at all, but i wish they could bear witness to it anyway.
36. Who did you miss?
everyone who wasn’t with me at that particular moment.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
everyone on zine tour. and a few co-workers & clients.