Category Archives: year in review

2013 in review!

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1.What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?

legally changed my name!!! fundraised to publish my book! made this thing real, finally finally finally. those two have been on my to-do list for years. also: learned an ex has raped someone & dealt with the complications around that (including what to do with a large body of autobiographical writing where he is portrayed pretty un-harshly). visited seattle. taken the train across the country (twice). worked on christmas day. worked all night, multiple times. talked a stranger out of committing suicide. filed a missing person’s report (also multiple times).

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i published my book! although it’s not back from the printer’s yet so idk if that counts. i got a job and i loved in a sustainable way. i dunno what my goals are for 2014.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? yeah, but i’m not close with any of them. aly & tara just gave birth yesterday, separately.

4. Did anyone close to you die? sean, although we weren’t close. a few clients, although again, we weren’t close.

5. What countries did you visit? none.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? financial security, paid vacation time.

7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

swimming naked in the pacific ocean with nora in october was one of the high points of my entire life, let alone the year. i will remember intense moments at work, dancing by myself besides the SF bay, some really intense and healing conversations with a new friend, some moments with my book, taking some pittsburghers to the hot tubs and marvelling at the strangeness of life and how we all got here, sailing to treasure island drunk with eva, dave and their weird marina neighbor, playing on ziplines in seattle with monica, murph and adam, lizzie surprising me with a picnic on my birthday, laying in the hammock with jordan after a devastating and scary family fight, my mom getting excited about the giant duck, listening to my ipod as the train chugged through gorgeous mountains in seattle, reading strangers’ tarot cards on the train, reading maranda’s tarot on the steps of my old house, going to the bay with jill, i don’t know, lots of stuff!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

doing a lot of good work. changing my name.

9. What was your biggest failure?

not setting appropriate boundaries with certain people. a few things that i fucked up at work.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

i got the flu recently which was awful, and i fucked up my neck in july & had to go to the chiropractor. other than that i’ve been mostly ok.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

the legal notice for my name, the cover of my book (three hundred bucks from a friend, and totally worthwhile), plane/train tix to the east coast, tasty food, my new coffee pot.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

my friends & my sweethearts, some clients, some co-workers.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

the city of san francisco.

14. Where did most of your money go?

student loans, traveling, and moving.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my new apartment, visiting the east coast, and publishing my book!

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?

i dunno if any new songs really came into my life this year. embarrassingly, “same love” by macklemore will always make me think of this summer.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?  a little sadder, but still okay.

b) thinner or fatter? thinner, but that’s cuz i just had the flu 😦

c) richer or poorer? i have a lot of $ in my bank account but it will all be gone soon.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? writing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

dealing with people’s bullshit.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

already spent it. i was at work all day but there wasn’t much to do so i got paid double time to eat snax and go on the internet. rad!

21. Did you fall in love in 2013? stayed in love.

22. How many one-night stands? none, but i made out with a few new peeps.

23. What was your favorite TV program? orange is the new black.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? i hate the same person more.

25. What was the best book you read? “telegram”, “do it anyway”, “dear sugar”, “welcome to my country”, “the way forward is with a broken heart” and probz a lot more.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

don’t ask me for a musical discovery, i’m hardly cutting edge. i spent most of this year listening obsessively to beyonce & jawbreaker.

27. What did you want and get? published book & name change, meaningful work that i am good at, cali-friends, lots of (unpaid) vacation time

28. What did you want and not get? a good night’s sleep, a paid vacation, recognition from higher-ups, etc

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 31, i was in pittsburgh. lizzie surprised me with a fancy picnic in front of the library, then jessie picked me up and we gossiped, then shea & stephy took me out for pizza and we gossiped some more! i talked for like ten hours straight and it was a good day.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

probably more money. and my friends standing in solidarity with me and no longer hanging out with my shitty ex.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

the same.

33. What kept you sane?

validation.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

just the gentrification of SF & the cutbacks that affect people i care about.

36. Who did you miss? east coasters.

37. Who was the best new person you met? everyone at work! also i am glad that asher came back into my life ❤

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2012 in review!

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1.What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

gotten an IUD, worn a septum ring, paid over $500 for a tattoo, something sexual i’m not writing here, lived in oakland, and sued my landlord! [edited 12/31/12 to add:] snaked a toilet!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i don’t really make resolutions but i had goals. they were mostly vague (keep pursuing a meaningful life, do good things, etc) and i accomplished them. i did not accomplish the one concrete goal, which was to publish my book. my goal this year is to publish something & keep writing & get a fuckin’ job & love in a sane & sustainable way.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yes! quite a few people i know had babies this year. the person who i am closest to is radio! i cannot wait to visit her, o’ryan, and lil’ auggie at some point in the future.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
laura and morton died, as well as some clients. not close with any of them but it was still sad & sorta hard.

5. What countries did you visit?
canada!

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
a published book. a paying job that does not destroy my soul. a semi-permanent-ish home, and to know where my home is, what timezone and what city.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

oh geez. this was a really memorable year actually. um, i remember crying tears of joy at work when amanda texted me that terrell was set free after 17 years of wrongful imprisonment, feeling the first real hope that things will get better after 11+ years of prisoner support work. i remember kate bornstein telling me that i am a good writer & being so happy and then puking in a trash can. i remember danny dyeing my hair and sweating on me as we hid from the wasps in my hot apartment. i remember winning $180 at the casino with maxine and then frolicking in the surf, i remember going to the ocean with ben and amanda in NC and it was ben’s first time in the ocean for 20 years and he was so overjoyed. i remember being so present and safe with them, so happy on our adventure. i remember finding out this really awful thing had happened and freaking out. i remember jean grae and invincible pulling me out of said freakout with their amazing healing music. i remember the look on amber’s face when we found all that brie in the dumpster in montreal. i remember the sadness and beauty of that old amusement park in NY, i remember looking at the splashy happy new yorkers at coney island and thinking that i was really gonna miss them. i remember the mountains in colorado outside of a greyhound bus terminal. i remember sitting naked  in the hot tub with scarin, andrew and the danes and being so grateful.  i remember a beautiful, windy day at the albany bulb with a cute boy. i remember going to target drunk with jordan and pushing him in the shopping cart, across the parking lot & promising that i wouldn’t let him fall. i remember finding out something that healed me so much. i remember when i first got my collective tarot deck, doing readings for myself in aaryn’s living room in san francisco. i remember going to the playground with adam late at night and frolicking and it was so fun. i remember saying goodbye to nearly everyone i’ve ever known & how heavy that was.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

starting over, growing, healing. learning how to read tarot & doing a lot of really good work at all my jobs, paid and unpaid. also, this isn’t really an achievement per se, but my mirena iud put an end to 14 years of extremely painful menstruation which seriously affected my quality of life. it is seriously one of the best things i have ever done for myself.

9. What was your biggest failure?

this year wasn’t really a failure.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

i got the flu multiple times this summer for some reason. other than that i’ve been fine.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

my ailanthus leaf tattoo, my hot pink tights, many snacks, and both the greyhound ticket to oakland to start my new life & the greyhound ticket to pittsburgh to visit my old one.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

my friends & my sweethearts.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

no need to mention them.

14. Where did most of your money go?

student loans, traveling, and moving.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
moving, lovers, friends, books. as always.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

“sluttering” by jawbreaker, “ropes” by invincible, and far too many semi-embarrassing beyonce songs to mention here.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?  notably happier.
b) thinner or fatter? notably fatter.
c) richer or poorer? notably poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
writing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

already spent it. with my mom & siblings & uncle. it was pleasant but not spectacular.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
yes, several times!

22. How many one-night stands?
none, really.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
90210, drag race, melrose place

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
no. but i still hate all the same people i hated in 2011. and i did find out something new and awful about a certain lady from my distant past that made me hate her a whole lot more than i already had.

25. What was the best book you read? “rookie”, “every you, every me” by david levithan, “the gentrification of the mind” by sarah schulman, “15 ways to stay alive” by daphne gottlieb, “love cake” by leah lakshmi piepzna-samarsinha, “glad no matter what” by sark, “quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking”, “how to become a scandal”, and more that i can’t recall.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

don’t ask me for a musical discovery, i’m hardly cutting edge. i spent most of this year listening obsessively to beyonce & jawbreaker.

27. What did you want and get?
a mature & considerate lover, a doable life plan, a fresh start, hope, and evidence that what goes around comes around.

28. What did you want and not get?
a published book! california food stamps! a good night’s sleep!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 30 and had one of the most fun birthday parties of my entire life. my dad & sister came from new york, bearing approx. 90 beers, and all my pgh favorites came to my house and we just laughed hysterically for hours. at the end, 8 or 9 beers in, i drilled a xylophone to a pole outside my front door without injuring myself. & for the rest of the summer, anyone who visited me would play the xylophone to let me know they were there.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

it was pretty satisfying. oh, i guess not having so many contact lens problems. i’ve finally given up!

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

pink! wacky!

33. What kept you sane?

this year i have dated more people than i ever have & every single one of them was so awesome and so healing and so good to me. my friends were also awesome, healing and good, but on a different level (also, friends being good to me is not really that noteworthy or unusual). also, 3 people i know were set free from prison this year & 2 horrible stories that have been haunting me for many years turned out to be untrue. this has changed my view of the world a little, tiny bit.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

three strikes getting repealed was SO awesome, i know of at least one person, a board member at my job & nonviolent 3rd striker who’s been down since 1998, has gone home!!!! this is huge, this is real, this is amazing and i’d like to thank any cali voters reading who voted to reform this awful law. not to discount the huge amount of behind-the-scenes work that has happened prior to voting, of course. usually voting is stupid, but sometimes it can change shit & this time, it really did. ❤ thank you!

36. Who did you miss?
everyone who wasn’t with me at that particular moment.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
all the bay area peeps, esp. adam & emma!

2011 in review!

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because self-reflection & posterity is super important. feel free to steal.

1.What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

crossed an ocean, wore contact lenses, collected unemployment, joined a union.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i did leave the continent. i made a huge dent in my debt but did not pay it all off. i didn’t find a home for my book, but i did a lot of good readings & did what i could within the chaos of this year. my resolutions for next year are: keep pursuing a meaningful life. do good things. don’t pour all your love into one person, especially a person who doesn’t give much back. don’t get complacent. and publish your fucking book!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
i don’t think so.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
paul died. we weren’t ever close, per se, but it still saddened me.

5. What countries did you visit?
france, germany, poland & lithuania! so nice to finally be able to answer this question!

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
a published book. a mature, considerate lover. a life plan that feels right & is doable.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
i remember wilding out with some lithuanians at karaoke. walking the streets of paris with jill, eating falafel and feeling perfect. i remember a meaningful walk across the 16th street bridge when i was feeling so terrible. i remember that amazing fucking philly roadtrip with steph & danny. i remember 4 of the most healing hugs of my life: 2 at the anarchist bookstore, 1 at occupy pittsburgh and 1 across my desk at work. i remember walking the streets of berlin with my siblings, beers openly in hand, just cuz we could.  i remember dancing wildly with arthur & amanda. i remember dancing wildly with steph & danny. i remember two beautiful talks in my hammock. i remember going roller skating the day after new years and driving away with the sun setting and lady gaga playing and feeling really happy. i remember riding the megabus thru a rainstorm in wisconsin listening to the clash and feeling like i was on a great adventure. i remember the first time i read my novel, to a crowd of about 30 people in pgh, and getting so much fuckin’ love from the audience! i remember hooking up with a finnish man in the stairwell of a depressing soviet-built apartment building. i remember seeing the forgetters play, drunk in the mid-afternoon, with jill in berlin. i also remember a lot of awful things that i don’t really want to remember, or else sexy/romantic things that i don’t want to share here.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

surviving. doing a lot of really amazing things at work, and doing 10 readings! 9 of which i consider a smashing success, and one that was just ok. meeting a lot of great people, coming out of my shell significantly & becoming a nicer person.

9. What was your biggest failure?

there are a few comforting things i wish i’d said to clients, but felt like it wasn’t my place. but now i wish i’d said them.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

i got real sick in lithuania and couldn’t take any medicine because i don’t speak lithuanian and the pharmacies are set up so you need to ask for your medicine. & as i have discussed ad nauseum on this blog, i got into a bike accident and suffered a black eye, fat lip, a concussion & nerve damage on my scalp & forehead. other than that i’ve been good.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

my waffle iron & a plane ticket to paris.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

this has been a year of betrayal & abandonment by family, both blood & chosen, but the people who have stuck around have been fucking incredible. you really did save my fucking life and i am eternally indebted to each and every single one of you who has reminded me, with your incredible love & compassion, that life is worth living.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

my co-workers, my mom, my ex-partner, and myself.

14. Where did most of your money go?

student loans, traveling, and moving.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
going on zine tour, going to europe, rejoining life, new love affairs, my job once it stopped sucking, all the new friends i’ve made this year.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

“at the hop” -devendra barnhardt, “too small to fail” -forgetters, “american gangster time” -elvis costello, many songs by bruce springsteen, and a few that i don’t want to put here.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?  even though it’s been a very sad year i actually think i am happier.
b) thinner or fatter? way thinner. but i didn’t want to be.
c) richer or poorer? poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
writing. risking. kissing. biking. dancing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

trying to explain things to people who just don’t fucking get it. also, crying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

already spent it. like this:

 (okay, i admit i only wore my facemask for the picture. but i got it for xmas! my face will be so nice and warm!)

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
i did not fall in love in a romantic-partner sense, but i did fall in love in a way that was much more important. fell in love with the world and with the work i’ve been chosen to do. it was fucking amazing.

22. How many one-night stands?
several.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
gossip girl! yes, i know i’m a little late to the party.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
yes.

25. What was the best book you read?oh boy. i read a lot of great books. “the color purple” (again, a little late to the party), “dyke drama, your guide to getting out alive”, “falling apart in one piece”, “owly”, “storming cesar’s palace”, “roseannarchy”, “blue highways”, “myth of the welfare queen”, “the doris encyclopedia”, “jesus land” and many others!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

oh do i ever have a musical discovery. i listened to lots of elvis costello & bruce springsteen.

27. What did you want and get?
friends at work, a zine tour, excitement.

28. What did you want and not get?
let’s not even fucking go there.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 29. i ate waffles with friends.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

see question #28.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

boy in a skirt. no glasses! skinny jeans! ribcage t-shirts.

33. What kept you sane?

MY FUCKIN’ FRIENDS.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
the fucking government cutting funds to my job. i wish every tea party motherfucker could sit with me at my desk and offer people tissues while they cry hysterically because we’re their last hope for turning their utilities back on and we simply don’t have the money. tell them thanksgiving is cancelled. tell the woman who just got her arm amputated that she’s going to have to go to a shelter. i know those tea party fuckers don’t care, and i wouldn’t enjoy their company at all, but i wish they could bear witness to it anyway.

36. Who did you miss?
everyone who wasn’t with me at that particular moment.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
everyone on zine tour. and a few co-workers & clients.

2010 in review! (feel free to steal this. self-reflection is good!)

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What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

COMPLETED A NOVEL!!, saw a man dressed as sarah palin pull an amerikan flag from his ass onstage, rode my bike across state lines, rode my bike 320 miles in a week, camped for more than one consecutive night, visited mainland canada, had a 2-guy threesome, had a full-time job with benefits, got my passport! (not in chronological order.)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

yes, they were to get my passport and finally leave the country and make a significant dent in my debt. i’ve done all 3. next year’s goals: leave the continent, get outta debt, find a home for my book.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
someone who i used to be close with did, i think.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no one close, as of this moment.

5. What countries did you visit?
canada!

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
some new stamps on my passport. a published book. friends at work that i actually get to see during the workday.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
mostly awful things that i don’t really want to remember, or else sexy/romantic things that i don’t want to share here. um. i remember getting pizza tattoos on valentines day, the aforementioned american flag incident, that beet dinner with stephanie and pino, toronto funtimes, going swimming with my sibs in the polish hill pool, some dinners at landslide, a ridiculous time on the southside,  the bike trip, some other things…

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

besides the book, i really didn’t achieve anything. i spent most of my time working jobs that made me really sad; giving most of my money to student loan officers; being misunderstood by strangers, friends and lovers alike; raging, crying, being heartbroken in every sense of the word.

9. What was your biggest failure?

see above. also, i really wish i’d gotten off the bus when i’d gotten a certain beseeching text message, but i just kept on going like a drone.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

not really.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

the front rack & panniers for my bike. the occasional cute outfit.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

most pittsburgh people, my siblings, my old-school friends and my sweetheart.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

my co-workers & my sweetheart.

14. Where did most of your money go?

student loans, delicious food, cute outfits, and good books and music. oh and the bike trip!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
quitting my god-awful job with child prtective srvcs. getting more tattoos. going to toronto. going on the bike trip. seeing the ocean again. and several things that didn’t happen.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

i don’t want to be reminded. but probably arcade fire, lil’ kim and 70’s punk rock. (i know these are artists/genres and not songs)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?  sadder.
b) thinner or fatter? the jury’s out. i really don’t care.
c) richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
writing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

crying in the bathroom at work. trying to explain things to people who just don’t get it. working, in general.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

already spent it. in new york. got off to a rough start but then it got way better. full of delicious food, berets, a vuvuzela, much hilarity, and my long-lost sister!

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
no.

22. How many one-night stands?
two. surprised?

23. What was your favorite TV program?
ru paul’s drag race.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
no. but i have stopped being friends with a lot of people this year!

25. What was the best book you read?
i actually read a lot of really great books this year. some of my faves were “a visit from the goon squad” -jennifer egan, “will grayson, will grayson” by john green & david levithan, “sex changes” and “public sex” by patrick califia, “freedom” by jonathan franzen, more i’m sure.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i really loved “the suburbs” by arcade fire.

27. What did you want and get?
a finished book! and a halfway-decent job (although it’s been AWFUL these past 2 months)

28. What did you want and not get?
sympathy. empathy. consideration.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 28 but you woulda thought i was 12 by how i celebrated: cake & girl talk (the game, not the band) & lots of giggling. it was actually REALLY fun.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

see question #28.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

have i ever had a personal fashion concept? i mean, really? i wore skirts more often than i ever have in my life, perhaps.

33. What kept you sane?
reading good books, my bicycle, my ipod (esp. at work), sometimes my friends and lover.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
i am numb.

36. Who did you miss?
kastoory, eric g., emily, sheena and lucy. axi, as always. and a few people who i don’t want to name.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
danny and hilary, i think.

2009 in review!

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What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
*earned money off of something i’d written (i.e. one of my grants got funded. i of course didn’t get any of that $$, it all went to book ’em, but damn it felt good)
*celebrated passover
*went to a presidential inauguration
*wrote a split zine with a prisoner
*got a tattoo whilst sitting in my kitchen
*and a few personal things that aren’t for this forum.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t make new year’s resolutions! but i would like to get my passport and finally leave the country next year!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
joann at work had a baby, and it was a pretty damn cute one, even to a seasoned baby-hater like me.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no one close, as of this moment. jonathan harmon died in january & we used to be palz. also, three clients at work died.

5. What countries did you visit?
none, as per usual.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
a full time job with benefits that isn’t evil. a passport.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
both times i went to DC were really fun & memorable. the january trip was particularly spectacular. my birthday was really good and so was thanksgiving. the champaign-urbana roadtrip was wonderful, possibly the best week all year. it’s all kind of a blur. i remember moments but not specific dayz.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting my damn grants funded & helping to save book ’em from a financial crisis was pretty sweet. also, i was 1/2 of a healthy relationship for the first time ever really. it changed a lot of things in my life & heart & mind.

9. What was your biggest failure?
i didn’t write enough. and i acted very stupidly when faced with a challenging situation this spring, something i still beat myself up over.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
i got the worst UTI of my life in may, which brought me to new heights of pain that i’d previously not experienced. other than that, i was pretty lucky.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
cute clothes at the thrift store & bus/plane tickets to various places.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
most pittsburgh people, my siblings, my old-school friends and my sweetheart.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
mostly that fucking bitch at the teddy bear shop. my boss. on rare occasions, my sweetheart. certain stressful, crazy book ’em peeps.

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, billz, student loans, traveling, and going out to dinner!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
midwestern roadtrips. my lover moving here. my tattoo. the potential of a new job (which hasn’t materialized)

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
that “homeys dead & gone” song, “battlefield” by jordin sparks, “you” by atmosphere, “mind sex” & “let’s get healthy” by dead prez, “best i ever had” by drake, “werewolf” by cocorosie, & others i’m sure.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier.
b) thinner or fatter? fatter. but who cares.
c) richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
writing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
listening to a certain stupid asshole blasting a mix cd on repeat in an attempt to attract customers to their joke of a store while i was trying to work.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
already spent it. in new york. i made an eggplant lasagna & watched many episodes of “jersey shore” with various fam members. it was pretty good.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
yes.

22. How many one-night stands?
none.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
ru paul’s drag race.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
nah, but there are some people whose bullshit i’m no longer willing to deal with.

25. What was the best book you read?
“the prisoner’s wife” by asha bandele. runners up include: “assata: an autobiography” by assata shakur, “a language older than words” by derrick jensen, “the book thief” -marcus zuzak, & so many more.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
as per ush, i am slow on the uptake. probably the best out of all those recently “discovered” bands is dead prez & atmosphere.

27. What did you want and get?
a new tattoo & more traveling.

28. What did you want and not get?
a fulltime job with benefits that isn’t evil. a finished book.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 27 & went out for thai food with sweet pittsburghers. my boyfriend made me a cake with homemade orange icing. peeps hung out at my house and giggled, it felt like a slumber party.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
being able to smack my boss’ daughter upside the head. (in case you haven’t noticed, I REALLY NEED A NEW JOB)

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
all over the place.

33. What kept you sane?
my friends, my lover, reading, good things in the mail box.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
prison-related stuff, as per usual.

36. Who did you miss?
the ocean & new york in the summer time.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
nate. also, i technically met matt & leah last year but i got to know them this year, & i’m glad i did.

2008 in review!

Standard

Dec. 24th, 2008 06:19 pm 2008 in review!
What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
–written a book! (well, most of one, anyway) -stayed in an apartment till the end of a lease
-signed a new lease all by myself
-quit drinking
-allowed myself to become a vital part of an activist group, instead of relegating myself to shitwork like i always do because i’m afraid i’ll fuck something up
-became a karaoke superstar! (i say that semi-sarcastically)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t make new year’s resolutions!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
liz popped out little hattie on dec. 2! and i cannot wait to meet her.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
not as of this moment.

5. What countries did you visit?
none, as per usual.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
a new tattoo, fewer health scares, maybe some more disposable income would be swell.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
the day i found out i wasn’t dying, that one really fun day in february where i ran into literally everyone i like in this city and really felt the love, the day pino & i took pictures at giant eagle & i got on the news, the day monica, sena & i took a “vacation” at tiffini’s house, pride and all the hilarious hijinx, the really good weekend my dad & my sister visited me, the really good weekend that ray first visited me, the first snowfall & snow angels & kale soup. a whole lot of little moments. also, some bad shit that i won’t dredge up here.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
surviving. writing 120 pages of a book plus three zines! making a lot of really good friends & having a lot of fun, despite the bullshit.

9. What was your biggest failure?
i completely ruined the friendship i had with the former love of my life. also, i lost my wallet (although it turned up a month later–in the fucking refrigerator!)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
my heart condition. plus i got really bad tendonitis while i was a dishwasher (which, thankfully, has gone away for the most part.) also, i whacked my hand into a side-view mirror the other day and my fingers swelled up so big! they’re better now though.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
um…i don’t really buy much. some cute patches, good thriftstore clothes, bus tickets to new york city & baltimore.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
all of my pittsburgh friends have been so sweet, especially when i was going through that rough time this winter. the faggotz have given me lots of good life coaching & laughs; ali helps keep the riot grrrl torch burning and gets me in a very specific way, alyssa has always been down for mystical adventures, amanda restores my faith in humanity on a regular basis, the craft night girls feel like home. my friends in prison have taught me a lot this year. my friends in new york occupy the most prime real estate in my heart, even though i haven’t seen them very much this year. emily, lucy, steve, jill and ray all visted me which was super fun. ray has been a sweetheart in every sense of the word.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
now would be a good time to employ my favorite destiny’s child quote: “no, i’m not gonna diss you on the internet, cuz my mama taught me better than that.”

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, billz, student loans, my extremely expensive heart monitor. so fun!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
my new apartment, fun times with friends, good makeouts, wacky adventures, trips to NY, etc.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
“epitaph for my heart” – the magnetic fields. there are more but i can’t think of them right now.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? sadder.
b) thinner or fatter? fatter. but that’s not why i’m sadder.
c) richer or poorer? poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
making out.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
crying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i’m going back to NY. i’m going to bake vegan macaroni casserole & apple muffins to share with judgemental relatives.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
i fell in love with my freedom, with the work i’ve been chosen to do & all the good people surrounding me. i plead the fifth as to whether any actual romance was involved.

22. How many one-night stands?
none, unless you count that psuedo-orgy post-dyke-march (which i don’t).

23. What was your favorite TV program?
geez i didn’t watch too much TV at all. huzzah!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
yes.

25. What was the best book you read?
“against love”, by i forget who; “rat bohemia” & “girls, visions & everything” by sarah schulman; “ladies first: revelations of a strong woman” by queen latifah, “pedro & me” by that guy from the real world; “nick & norah’s infinite playlist” by david levithan & rachel cohen

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
as per ush, i am slow on the uptake. so: outkast, common, the roots, arcade fire, etc.

27. What did you want and get?
a sweet apartment. inspiration. peace.

28. What did you want and not get?
an easy time.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 26. i went out for thai food with my pittsburgh favorites & then down to the lesbo bar, where i discovered my inner karaoke superstar for the first time ever!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
less mental and physical health problems. less upset in my personal life. although i think that wreckage led me to somewhere better, it was still so hard.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
biz-cas faggot at work; also i declared this summer “femme summer ’08” and i experimented with being femme. (or femme-er–i still didn’t shave or wear makeup). it was semi-successful.

33. What kept you sane?
my friends, reading, baking, knowing i’d get through this.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
prison-related stuff, as per usual, especially how our tax dollars are being used to torture people in camp hill and throughout the state. also i got a lil’ misty-eyed when obama got elected (i know that’s not an “issue”, but it still falls within the realm of politix)

36. Who did you miss?
new york! new york! new york!

37. Who was the best new person you met?
amy, colleen, stephanie, everyone at book ’em. also i technically met aaryn, alyssa, branden & pino last year but it was this year they became my amazing friends and i’m so glad.